The Kindness of Strangers — and Friends and Family

There is much to love about road trips. Seeing towns, cities, and landscapes for the first time; that sense of being in control of your own fate; sampling local cuisines and cocktails.

But for people like me, who think they like adventure but are actually not super-adventurous, road trips can also be stressful. The complicated logistics of lodging and meals; the constant fear of the car breaking down (a fear that hums at a high frequency when one is driving through vast stretches of desert); the almost complete reliance on your communications technology, of which you are blissfully unaware until there’s some sort of glitch or failure (the iPhone dying, a patchy WiFi connection); the loneliness of itinerancy.

I was on the road for almost three months, from early August to late October. Not all of that time was spent researching my new book project on the Civil War in the desert Southwest. Some of it was vacation (bicycling in Aspen and hiking in Telluride with my husband), some of it was R&R (a lovely two-day break in Marfa, Texas), and some of it was devoted to academic conferences. The rest of the time, however, I was driving from one place to another, stopping for a few days every now and again to do research in archives or to visit national and state historic sites. It was an exhilarating and a crazy time.

All of this was made much more enjoyable by family and friends—and one case, the family of a friend—who housed and fed me and showed me around their towns, and by strangers who did me favors for no reason, or welcomed me into their communities.

The following people (in chronological order) showed me various kindnesses, and helped me get there and back again:

Joe Beilein, Jr. Erie, Pennsylvania

Sara Sukalich and Matt Mingione Columbus, Ohio

Amy Wood Bloomington, Illinois

Brian Craig Miller and Nick Messing Wichita, Kansas

John and Lynn Fritschel Centennial, Colorado

Elise and Ken Davis Santa Fe, New Mexico

Frances Jay and Rob Regehr Santa Fe, New Mexico

Nancy Castelli Santa Fe, New Mexico

Randy Egan Santa Fe, New Mexico

Sam Truett Albuquerque, New Mexico

Virginia Scharff and Christopher Wilson Albuquerque, New Mexico

The members of the Las Cruces cycling

group who welcomed me to their ride

through the pecan groves of Mesilla

and beyond Las Cruces, New Mexico

The young man at the Radio Shack

who calmed me down and sold me a

burner phone after my iPhone died in

the middle of White Sands Missile

Range* ** Las Cruces, New Mexico

Anne and Jerry Moore Tucson, Arizona

Rebecca Cohen Tucson, Arizona

Ben Irvin Tucson, Arizona

The NPS ranger at Fort Bowie National

Historic Site, who gave me a ride back to

my car so I would not have to hike back on

the trail with a backpack loaded down with

books about Apache history Bowie, Arizona

The security guard at the main gate at UTEP,

who took pity upon me and gave me a one-day

parking pass so I would not have to drive

around for another hour, looking in vain for a

parking space El Paso, Texas

Lonn and Dedie Taylor, who welcomed a

complete stranger into their home, told me

stories about the area, and then took me

to lunch Fort Davis, Texas

Catherine Clinton San Antonio, Texas

Greg Chico Austin, Texas

Natalie Ring and Jon Daniel Dallas, Texas

Jeanne Lopiparo Memphis, Tennessee

Rebecca Conard Murfreesboro, Tennessee

Gib Backlund Murfreesboro, Tennessee

Juliet Wagner Nashville, Tennessee

Nancy, Trey, Alex, and Kate Grayson

(and Oliver) Walton, Kentucky

Dave Kieran Saratoga Springs, New York

* Don’t worry, I managed to resuscitate it

** Don’t think I’m not suspicious about this